


K-9 Cutie

by Tweagle_is_concerned



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Police, Angst, Eretlout, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It was meant to be at least, K-9 au, Kinda, M/M, Modern Era, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29772669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tweagle_is_concerned/pseuds/Tweagle_is_concerned
Summary: Snotlout works at the police station in the K-9 Unit. What happens when a cute new police officer, Eret, gets hired and makes Snotlout feel things he’s never felt before? Will things work out, or will Snotlout let his insecurities get the best of him?Ft. Why do all my titles suck
Relationships: Eret/Snotlout Jorgenson, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III & Snotlout Jorgenson, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Snotlout Jorgenson/Tuffnut Thorston, briefly - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7





	K-9 Cutie

**Author's Note:**

> Why is it that the second I started writing this I got recommended a show called Canine Intervention ??? Netflix is watching me ???
> 
> You guys are probably sick of me publishing my 4th Eretlout fic, but I have bad news. I’ve already thought up a sequel to this fic and a new au. I’m going to be very busy getting my license this week (finally) so I’m publishing this now to make up for my long absence next month.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! 😊

Snotlout had been working for the police force for over a year now. He had been training to be in the force his whole life, ever since he could talk his father had been grooming him to be the perfect cop. Snotlout had found a group of his father’s friends' children to work on this goal with. Astrid, Fishlegs, Ruffnut and Tuffnut had been there for him while they went through the police academy together. It had been fine till Hiccup, the son of the police chief had entered the academy and changed the whole game.

Snotlout eventually learned to like most of the changes Hiccup had brought however and he could happily say that the K-9 Units every officer now had made his life much more fulfilling. Hookfang was his best friend and Snotlout couldn’t imagine his life without him. Notice however the use of the phrase most of the changes. Snotlout couldn’t stand Hiccup’s incessant need to befriend every single person. 

The most annoying incident of this was the befriending of a man named Eret who was in Drago’s gang. Drago was a particularly nasty man who ran one of the nastiest gangs in town. Hiccup had been trying to find a way into that gang for weeks and his dilemma had been solved when Eret, Son of Eret had come to Hiccup looking for a way out. Eret was the most annoying man Snotlout had ever had the displeasure of talking to, yet everyone seemed to love him!

After Eret helped them with the Drago case Hiccup offered the man a spot on the force if he was willing to go through the police academy. Of course, Eret agreed and acelled in the academy, graduating early and joining the force, which led Snotlout to where he was today.

“I won’t do it.”

Hiccup sighed. “Snotlout please.” 

“I hate his smug stupid little face.”

“Snotlout, you have to be his partner, there’s no one else that can do it.”

“Literally anyone else can do it! Ask Astrid, ask Fishlegs, ask the twins, heck ask Gobber, I know he’s retired, but I’m sure you could convince him somehow.”

“Snotlout.” Hiccup stared at him resolutely.

Snotlout knew that Hiccup had made up his mind and there was nothing he could do to change it. “Fine.” Hiccup smiled at Snotlout before patting him on the shoulder.

“Come in bright and early tomorrow and we’ll get Eret settled in. Thank you for doing this Snotlout.”

“Yeah whatever, it’s chill man.” Snotlout brushed off the compliment as he tried to act like the praise didn’t mean the world to him. “Just make sure he isn’t late.” 

Snotlout made sure to get to work early the next morning so he could berate Eret for being late, only to see Eret already there talking to Ruffnut. Ruffnut was obviously ogling Eret’s muscles and he wondered how long her hand had been resting on his arm. Snotlout felt an anger rise up in his chest, how dare Eret look so good in a unif- I mean how dare Eret take Ruffnut’s attention away from Snotlout. Snotlout stormed over to them.

Eret smiled at him with blindingly straight white teeth. “Hey Snotlout!” Snotlout grunted in response and gestured for Eret to follow him. Eret happily followed him into the break room where Snotlout immediately went for the coffee machine.

“This is the most important thing in this office. Don’t ever break it, treat it like it’s the only thing keeping you alive because if you break it it will be.” Snotlout refilled the thermos he had brought and gestured for Eret to pass him his so he could fill it. 

“Oh thanks, but I don’t drink coffee, tea is much healthier and works better!” Of course he drinks tea, how else could he prove he’s the most annoying man in the universe. Snotlout rolled his eyes.

“Your first Patrol starts in 10, we need to go grab our K-9 Units then we can hop in the car and get going.” Normally they didn’t bring the dogs on routine patrols, but when someone was new it was useful to bring them along so the dog and officer could get used to each other. Snotlout and Eret went over to the Kennel in the station where they saw Fishlegs feeding the dogs. 

“Good morning Snotlout, Eret! Are you guys grabbing Hookfang and Skullcrusher?” Snotlout saw Hookfang, his Dalmation wrestling with the twins annoying malinois. Snotlout whistled and Hookfang pulled away from them and trotted over to his side. 

“Yeah Snotlout was going to take me and Skullcrusher for my first patrol.” Eret lent down next to the bloodhound that had been Stoick’s old partner before his death. Hiccup had offered Skullcrusher to be Eret’s partner after watching how Eret had bonded with the dog when he was still in Drago’s gang. 

“Speaking of which we should really be going now. See you Fishlegs.” Fishlegs waved goodbye as the two of them left. Patrol wasn’t too bad, it was mostly just the occasional speeder and an odd man who had been trying to bathe in a public fountain. Snotlout and Eret didn’t talk much outside of what was necessary. Eret had been a quick learner and didn’t need much assistance from Snotlout, writing tickets and arresting nude men in fountains like he had been doing it all his life. 

When they returned to the station Snotlout was surprised to find that he had had a rather pleasant day overall. Maybe… maybe this partnership could work out after all.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Snotlout needed a new partner. Eret was either the softest willed man in the world or he was just awful with dogs. Skullcrusher, who had always been the model of obedience when he was Stoick’s dog, was on some kind of disobedience strike. The dog was out of control, and it was getting on Snotlout’s last nerve. Skullcrusher had been slobbering all over their paperwork whenever he had the chance, he jumped on everyone and everything when he saw it, and he had drunk Snotlout’s coffee. 

“Eret.” Snotlout said as he sat himself down on Eret’s desk. “We have to talk about you and Skullcrusher.” Eret, who normally looked like the picture of perfection, was disheveled beyond belief and had paperwork scattered on his desk. Snotlout envied his ability to look chillingly hot even without having brushed his hair in several days. Not that Snotlout personally thought he was hot, just from a purely aesthetic point of view. 

“I don’t know what you're talking about Snotlout. Now get off my desk you’re sitting on my weekly report.” Snotlout frowned, but moved off the desk.

“You don’t know what I’m talking about? Eret your dog has been ignoring your commands, slobbering all over your uniform, and that thing jumps into your arms whenever he sees you.” 

“He’s just being a dog Snotlout. I think you could stand to be a little less uptight.” Snotlout sputtered.

“Less uptight?! Eret do you even know what we do? Meet me on the field with Skullcrusher in 30. Me and Hookfang are going to teach an old dog some new tricks.” Snotlout strutted off without waiting for a response, stopping by the Kennel to grab Hookfang and a bag of treats. Hookfang knew what to do as soon as they arrived at the course. Effortlessly Snotlout led Hookfang through all the obstacles, they raced around cones, under beams, and through hoops and tunnels with ease. Snotlout couldn’t wait to show off their skills for a new audience. He and Hookfang had set the record for the course, beaten only by Hiccup and his K-9 Unit, Toothless. 

When Eret appeared five minutes late Snotlout and Hookfang were standing with unimpressed faces. “Sorry we’re late! Skullcrusher didn’t want to leave without finishing his lunch.” Eret was practically tugging the reluctant bloodhound beside him. 

“That’s your problem, you’re too easy going. You need to be stricter with Skullcrusher, watch.” Snotlout placed a treat on Hookfang’s nose, Hookfang eyed it hungrily, but with a sharp, “Stay” Hookfang remained still. Snoutlout smiled and let the dog eat the treat. Snotlout passed the bag over to Eret. “You try.”

Eret looked warily at the bag but took a treat and placed it on Skullcrushers nose then said, “Stay.” The bloodhound ignored him and snapped up the treat. Snotlout tried to resist the urge to roll his eyes. 

“You need to be sharper, try again, like this.” Snotlout placed the treat on Skullcrushers nose and barked, “Stay!” This time the Bloodhound twitched, but obeyed. Snotlout gave his affirmative and the dog gobbled up the treat. Eret grabbed a treat and placed it on Skullcrushers nose.

“Stay.” He said, firmer this time. The dog obeyed. Eret looked at Snotlout smiling wide, “I can’t believe that actually worked.” Skullcrusher got bored of letting the treat stay on his nose and ate it without gaining approval.

“You still have a long way to go though, come to the course we’ll see how you do here.” Snotlout and Hookfang demonstrated how the course was supposed to be run with a slow lap through it. Snotlout helped Skullcrusher through his first lap so the dog could get a feel for the new course. “Okay Eret, you’ll want to lead Skullcrusher through the cones without him touching any of them. He can’t jump over them, he has to weave. Go ahead and try.” 

Eret struggled to lead Skullcrusher through the cones, at first the dog refused to move, then he kept trying to jump over the cones, and eventually Eret just looked like he wanted to cry so Snotlout stepped in. Snotlout had stepped into Eret’s personal space without much thought, all of his attention on the dog. 

Immediately Snotlout started barking orders to the dog. “Bad dog! Down! Heel! Walk! Stop! Back down!” Skullcrusher started walking toward Hookfang, obviously bored of listening to his commands. Snotlout would not stand for this disrespect and made his voice firmer. “NO! Bad dog! DOWN BOY! Good. Walk! Stop. Walk! Sit! Good boy!” Snotlout smirked as he managed to get Skullcrusher to weave and sit at his feet. “See, all it requires is a firm hand.” Snotlout turned to look up at Eret who hadn’t said anything this whole time.

Eret’s pupils had dilated and his face had taken on a red tone Snotlout had never seen on him before. Snotlout wondered if the heat had been affecting Eret more than he thought. It was only when a breath of air Snotlout took hit Eret’s neck and he shivered that Snotlout realized he was standing so close to Eret that their arms were crushed against each other. Snotlout backed away immediately.

“Um well now you know what to do so I’ll just leave you here with Skullcrusher and you guys can practice. I uh- I have some paperwork I should probably go do.” 

Snotlout left with only one thought in his head, What Was That.

—————————————————————————————————————————

Snotlout didn’t go out very often with Hiccup and Astrid. They invited him over to their house, but he never went because he hated to feel like a third wheel. However when Snotlout got stopped by Astrid before he went home asking if he would like to hang out he readily agreed. Snotlout couldn’t be alone with his thoughts after what just happened. Astrid seemed surprised when he accepted, but she smiled at him and raced off to tell Hiccup. 

Snotlout blasted music on drive over, but it didn’t stop him remembering the first time he had felt like this. Back in freshman year when Snotlout had first met the twins he had been set up on a date with Ruffnut, and of course everywhere Ruffnut went Tuffnut went as well. The date had been at an arcade diner style place. Ruffnut had immediately ran off to go play the arcade games while Snotlout and Tuffnut, hungry teenage boys stayed at the table to eat. They had had a great night and Snotlout even forgot Ruffnut was there at all. 

Tuffnut, who was much more knowledgeable about his sexuality (especially because of having a boy obsessed twin) didn’t hesitate to take Snotlout to the side of the building and kiss him senseless. Snotlout was having a great time till Ruffnut came to find them and cried to her parents about how Tuffnut always stole her things. Snotlout knew she didn’t know what would happen to him if his father heard he had kissed a boy, but it didn’t stop him from feeling bitter every time he thought of the twin girl.

Snotlout's father obviously wasn’t pleased when he heard the news. Snotlout thinks he must have blacked out the experience now because the night he returned home from the date was a blur. He remembers wishing for his own death days after, and he vowed never to become the kind of cop his father was if he lived. He would never be the kind of man who beat his own son and then used his police status to cover it up. 

Snotlout shook off his thoughts and composed himself before stepping out of his car and knocking on Hiccup and Astrid’s door. He heard a clanging in the kitchen and Astrid shouted for him to come in.

Snotlout entered and let his nose guide him to the kitchen where Hiccup and Astrid were weaving around trying to put dinner together. “Anything I can do to help?” Snotlout asked in an effort to be polite.

Hiccup pressed a knife into his hand. “Please, could you chop the vegetables, I need to check on the turkey.” 

“Turkey? What is this, thanksgiving?!” Snotlout joked, chopping the vegetables with a practiced grace.

Astrid just hummed, focused on the gravy she was stirring, trying desperately not to burn it. Hiccup answered for her. “We were gonna host a big Thanksgiving feast this year for everyone at work so we’re practicing.” Hiccup seemed content to end the conversation there. Snotlout watched how Hiccup and Astrid moved around each other with a casual intimacy Snotlout craved. When they finished making the food they sat down together at the table and Snotlout prepared for an interrogation now that their full attention was focused on him. 

“Been a while since you agreed to come to dinner.” Astrid commented. A long silence followed her remark. This was a technique Astrid loved using in interrogations, people always felt the need to fill up silences and Astrid was an expert at keeping quiet.

“Yeah it’s been too long buddy!” … However Hiccup was hardly ever on the same page. “I wish you’d have dinner with us more often. I’m glad you chose tonight though to come over, especially considering what we wanted to tell you.” 

“Hiccup!” Astrid scolded. “You weren’t supposed to say anything yet!” 

“Sorry! I’m just very excited. Snotlout.” Hiccup looked at him with a very serious expression. “Me and Astrid are having a baby.” 

Snotlout’s face split into a wide grin and he let out a loud bellow of joy for his friends. “Congratulations! Your two are going to be great parents! When did you find out? When is the due date? Can-” 

“Snotlout there’s another reason we wanted to tell you.” Astrid cut him off. “Snotlout, will you be our baby’s godfather?” Snotlout froze.

“Uh, I don’t think you’d want me to be an influence on this kid's life. I’m not a good-“ 

“Snotlout, you’re the only person we’d want to help raise this child. Fishlegs and the twins are great, but none of them are you. You don’t have to say yes, but we want you to know that it would mean the world to us if you became or baby’s Godfather,or at the very least his cool uncle.” Hiccup put his hand on Snotlouts, eyes trying to convey the truth of his words. 

“I- I-“ Snotlout’s eyes got misty as he finally said, “Yes, okay, I’ll be your child’s Godfather.” Astrid and Hiccup smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. Snotlout was struck with the sudden urge to tell Hiccup and Astrid about his father. What if he turned out to be just like him and messed up this child for good?! He pulled away from the hug. “Wait guys, I have to tell you-“ He cut himself off. He had vowed not to tell anyone about his father while he was still alive. His father had connections and Snotlout feared if he told anyone it would backfire.

“Yes Snotlout?” Astrid asked encouragingly.

“Uh- I just have to tell you how excited I am to be this baby’s Godfather. Also the food is getting cold.” Hiccup and Astrid rolled their eyes but sat back down to eat. Snotlout was going to need a therapist after tonight, that much was sure.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Snotlout spent his day off reading about pregnancies and children. He and Astrid had been each other’s first friends and despite that awkward period in High School where Snotlout had tried to go out with her they had always been close. Snotlout was grateful for Hiccup and Astrid's fortune timing telling him about their kid, it was the perfect distraction from Snotlout's inner conflict. Instead of going to bed thinking about Eret and his obnoxious muscles he was dreaming about baby books and nurseries. 

Perhaps that was why seeing Eret the next day was like a fist to the face. Just looking at him had Snotlout reeling. Snotlout composed himself quickly however and calmly walked over to his desk to do some paperwork before patrol. Patrol. Snotlout would be stuck in a small car with Eret for hours this morning with nothing to do but talk. He was screwed. 

Luckily for him Eret didn’t seem to be in a mood for talking either after what had happened between them. Not that anything had really happened, so why was this so weird? They sat in the car for a while, the only sound the radio between them. The sound was broken when Eret suggested jokingly when they passed a donut place that they stop by and conform to the stereotype. After that the tension eased between them. 

“So how long have you been a cop?” Eret asked once they had donuts in their hands and were back on the road. 

“A little more than a year now. Why’d you decide to become a cop?” Snotlout quickly responded before shooting a question right back.

“Just wanted to do the right thing after my stint with gang life. And you?”

He hesitated. “My dad wanted me to be a cop. He was a cop and all my friends were would-be cops so I guess I just never considered anything else.”

Snotlout could feel Eret’s stare on the side of his head, but Snotlout kept his focus on the road. “That’s… I don’t know if that’s sad or if it’s a good thing you were so sure of yourself all your life. What would you do if you weren’t a cop?” 

Snotlout paused, he had never considered any life but the one he had. “Uh, I don’t know. Maybe-“ He paused again, thinking hard. “Something with dogs maybe.” 

“You’re good with dogs. I don’t know how you got Skullcrusher to listen to your commands.” The tension between them returned full force at the mention of their interaction. “I like when you take control.” Eret said boldly.

Snotlout stubbornly kept his eyes on the road and looked for a place where they could park the car on the side of the road to watch for speeders. Neither spoke while Snotlout parked the car and it was only once Snotlout felt like he spent as long as he possibly could parking that he looked at Eret. Eret was staring at him unwaveringly with an intense look in his eye. Snotlout blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.

“I like when you obey.” Snotlout was red from head to toe. He hadn’t meant to say that, that was so weird. Snotlout was going to die from embarrassment. Eret placed his hand on top of Snotlout's which still had a death grip on the gear shift between them. 

“Can I ki-“ Eret’s next words were interrupted by the radio that beeped between them reporting on some situation that they were both too dazed to pay attention to. Nevertheless they dutifully pulled their eyes off each other and headed to where the crime had been reported. Snotlout wondered if all their interactions were going to be the same, emotionally charged but with no payoff. Snotlout thinks he could deal with it, if only Eret would keep looking at him like that. 

It wasn’t much of a surprise to Snotlout when they went their separate ways once they got back to the station. Snotlout resigned himself to doing paperwork while Eret was off doing who knows what. Eret was… something. Snotlout couldn’t make heads or tails of what Eret meant to him, but he did know that Eret ruined a series of well laid plans Snotlout had made back when he was 15 and his father had taught him what your life was like if you kissed boys. Snotlout was usually content to shove his feelings down into the deepest pits of his brain, eat ice cream, pretend like he thought girls were hot, and dream of eventually marrying a woman who would lead out a loveless marriage with him. That plan didn’t account for Eret. 

After an hour of trying to do paperwork Hiccup called Snotlout over to his desk. “Um, Snotlout you’ve been staring at that paper for at least 10 minutes, are you feeling okay bud?”

Snotlout nodded. “Yeah, I’m in tip top shape, just like usual. Nothing going on here no sir.” Hiccup did not look convinced in the slightest.

“Take Hookfang and go home Snotlout. You won’t be of much use like this today. Go take a nap, or just at least get a full night's rest. You look way too stressed.” Snotlout knew that any argument he could come up with wouldn’t do anything but make Hiccup more sure of himself so he sighed and went over to his desk to gather his things. After slipping his jacket on he went to the Kennel to grab Hookfang so they could go home and Snotlout could cry away his feelings.

When Snotlout stepped into the kennel to see Eret cuddling with Hookfang and Skullcrusher he froze. Eret was happily petting both dogs while they licked any part of him they could reach. He giggled when one of the dogs tickled his neck and he let out a huff of air when Hookfang stepped on his stomach. Hookfang was so unfriendly to most people, preferring to remain in Snotlout's company. It was surprising to see his dog warm up to someone who Snotlout cared so much about. Snotlout leaned against the doorway, watching them play with a domestic smile on his face.

Snotlout suddenly felt tears run down his cheeks as the weight of everything crashed down on him. Snotlout just left, ignoring Astrids surprised exclamation as he ran past her with tears in his eyes. Snotlout liked Eret. Snotlout had actual, genuine, domestic feelings for this colleague who he had known for a month. Snotlout felt like he was 15 all over again as snot and tears ran down his face, and as he jammed the key into the car, racing home as fast as he could drive.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Snotlout called in sick the next day. He probably shouldn’t be missing from work after having left early the previous day, but what little sense of self-preservation he had pushed him to stay home. He had prepared himself for the likely event that he’d need to get over Eret and pulled out the fancy ice cream and several various romcoms. What was Snotlout even thinking when he let himself get caught in Eret’s stupid hot guy eyes, and in his stupid hot guy abs, and his stupidly hot arms… 

Snap out of it! Snotlout scolded himself. Eret was existing in Snotlout’s life, like it or not, so something had to be done. Snotlout was not going to let himself burst into tears every time Eret does something sickenly cute. His musings were cut off at the sound of a knock at the door and a voice yelling,

“Snotlout! It’s Hiccup, can I come in?” 

“YEAH!” Snotlout hollered back. “I’m in the living room!” He heard the front door open and shut, then the scattering of paws as they slipped against the floor. Hookfang ran into the room, followed closely behind by Hiccup’s dog Toothless. Hookfang wasted no time slamming into Snotlout and knocking all the air out of him. Hiccup trailed in after the dogs much slower, carrying a bottle of some fancy wine and chocolate. 

“Hey, hope I’m not misreading the situation, but it seemed like you needed a good old break up cure.” Snotlout grinned and patted the space next to him on the couch.

“Well misery loves company, especially company with alcohol.” Hiccup smiled back at him and sat down, trying to find a space between the dogs. Snotlout snatched the wine and one of the glasses out of Hiccup's hand to pour himself a drink. Hiccup sat with him through the first movie, Miss Congeniality, neither saying much besides the occasional jibe at the movie. Next Snotlout put on Mama Mia. During the movie Snotlout let out a disgruntled noise when the wine bottle was empty and went to the fridge to grab something stronger, his return was when Hiccup took the opportunity to speak.

“So what got you so riled up yesterday?”

“Nothing. Just didn’t feel well.”

Hiccup hummed. “That didn’t happen to have anything to do with a boy, did it?” Snotlout froze, but his silence spoke volumes. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. Just know that I’m here for you, and I’ll stick here as long as you need. Me and Astrid want you to be happy, you’re family Snotlout.” Hiccup awkwardly pulled Snotlout into a weird side hug and Snotlout couldn’t help but laugh. 

Snotlout pulled Hiccup into a more comfortable grip and let himself bask in the familial contact he had never been allowed before. He let himself relax, and finally admitted the truth to both of them. “I have feelings for Eret.” Hiccup pulled away from the hug and Snotlout felt a twinge of fear pull in his chest before he realized Hiccup just wanted to look him in the eyes.

“Thank you Snotlout. I’m so proud of you telling me and I want you to know that I love and accept this part of you. Do you understand?” Hiccup was looking at him intensely and Snotlout could feel a sob build up at the back of his throat so he just nodded in answer. Hiccup smiled and pulled him into the hug again. “Good.”

Hiccup pulled away again and grabbed the glasses that had been filled with alcohol, passing one to Snotlout, “Now what are we going to do about this Eret problem?” 

“Ignore it probably. I don’t think Eret is interested the way I am.” Snotlout gulped down half of his glass.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Snotlout, I’m the most oblivious person in the universe and even I’ve seen the way he looks at you when you work out.”

“Eh that’s what I’m concerned about. He wants to jump my bones, not full on domestic relationship, let's get married and live in Suburbia with two and a half kids.” Hiccup whistled. 

“You really are gone on him. Well then there's only one thing to do.” Snotlout looked at Hiccup questioningly. Hiccup grinned back. “Let’s seduce this kid.”

“... I don’t know if you meant for that to sound cool or something but-“

Hiccup rolled his eyes. “Flirt with him Snotlout. Let him see what he could have with you, invite him on a date or something. Or play hard to get, whatever. Surely you’ve flirted with people before.”

Snotlout hadn’t ever really flirted with anyone before, firstly at the fear of his fathers reaction. Then when he was out of the house he was just too focused on work to try and even consider going out with someone. Surely however, his instincts wouldn’t lead him wrong. Snotlout was going to get Eret to love him, that was a promise.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Eret was sitting at his desk as usual when Snotlout came in the next day. He glanced at Hiccup’s office to see Hiccup shoot him an encouraging thumbs up. Snotlout strutted up to Eret’s desk and sat down on the edge of it like he had many times before. Eret looked up at him with a shy smile. 

“Ready to go on patrol?” Snotlout asked gruffly. Eret nodded.

“Sure, just let me grab my tea. Did you want me to fill up your coffee on the way?” Snotlout nodded, a totally besotted expression on his face likely, curse Eret and his considerate-ness. Eret snagged his thermos and left for the break room. Snotlout grabbed the car keys and left to warm up the car while he was waiting. 

“What took you so long?” Snotlout quipped when Eret returned to the car. Eret just laughed and passed Snotlout his newly filled thermos. Snotlout grinned in satisfaction, Eret liked deprecating jokes. Well it was deprecating jokes he’d get. 

“So I noticed you called in sick yesterday, are you feeling okay?” Eret asked sincerely. Snotlout swore this guy was going to melt him from the inside out.

“I’m certainly feeling better than you!” Eret hesitated before letting out a little snort.

“Uh cool. Anyways were you free this weekend?” Snotlout tried to remember the advice Hiccup had given him the night before, play had to get…

“Yeah, I’ll be busy, y’know doing cool guy things. Working out, y’know that grind.” Eret didn’t respond and when Snotlout glanced at his face he saw Eret looking questionly at Snotlout. Quick Snotlout, get him back on the same page, flirt with him! “I work out y’know. Probably more than you do, I’m a very big man. I could pick you up like you were a twig I bet.”

Eret hummed and when Snotlout glanced at him he saw his face was turned away, looking out the window. They drove in silence for a few more minutes when a car sped past them, way too fast for the school zone they were currently in. A report came over the radio about a kidnapping with a car that matched the car that just passed them. Snotlout flicked on the Siren and followed the car, only for the car to speed up. Snotlout grinned in glee, car chases were his favorite part of the job, and this gave him a chance to show off to Eret.

“Watch this!”Snotlout yelled, speeding up the car to chase after the runaway man. A ball rolled into the road in front of them and in anticipation of the kid that would surely follow Snotlout swerved the car around the ball, narrowly missing a little boy that had ran onto the street without a second glance. Snotlout maneuvered his way through various side streets and managed to get ahead of the car they were chasing, pulling his car to a stop where it blocked the street, preventing the runaway car from getting far. 

Snotlout got out of the car and knocked on the car door, looking in the back to see the missing child. Without hesitation Snotlout used the butt of his gun to break the guy's side window when he refused to open the door. The man inside the car attempted to punch Snotlout, but Snotlout ducked the punch and slammed the guy's head into his steering wheel, causing the car to let out a little honk. The man looked dazed after that and Snotlout reached inside to unlock the doors and pulled the man out of the car and over the hood.

“I got him, you help the kid,” Snotlout grunted, cuffing the guy. Snotlout started reciting his rights as Eret helped the girl out and held her in his arms, her legs too shaky to stand. Eret soothed the girl while Snotlout filed the guy into the back of the police car. Snotlout went to the radio upfront to alert the rest of the team that they had apprehended the guy responsible and were heading back to the station with the kid. They all rode back to the station in silence except for the little girl's sobs and Eret’s attempts to calm her down.

Back at the station the girl ran out of Eret’s arms to her mother who was weeping furiously in one of the police chairs and talking to Hiccup. Their reunion was a whirlwind of hugs and kisses as they recovered from the tragedy that had almost occurred. Eret went to the back to grab the perpetrator, but Snotlout chivalrously elbowed him out of the way with a muttered, “I got this” 

The mother went up to Eret and thanked him profusely while Snotlout and Astrid put the man into one of the cells for him to be held temporarily. By the time Eret had finished assuring the woman that they were just doing their job, and they were just glad the girl hadn’t been hurt, Snotlout was already done with half the arrest paperwork. Eret sighed and walked up to Snotlout's desk. 

“Talking to that mom to get out of doing your half of the paperwork huh.” Snotlout jibed. Eret’s hand slammed against the paperwork Snotlout was working on, luckily not loud enough to draw anyone’s attention except for Hiccup, who had not so subtly been spying on their interactions. 

“That’s it. Meet me in the break room in 5.” Snotlout watched curiously as Eret strides away from him with his obnoxiously long legs. Snotlout finished up the paper he had been working on before following Eret’s instructions, pondering on what he could possibly need. When Snotlout entered, Eret was red faced and seething. He locked the door after Snotlout entered and flipped on him, words almost a yell, but sounding like he didn’t want anyone to hear them.

“What is your deal?! You’ve been antagonizing me all day and I’m sick of it! Is this some sort of manly straight guy thing where you have to prove that you’re better than the little fairy boy who has a crush on you?! You have been out of line way too many times for me to count! That stupid speeding manouver you pulled earlier could have gotten that little kid who ran in the street killed! Do you not think before doing anything?! Or are you just so desperate to prove that you're straight that you don’t care who gets hurt along the way!” Snotlout just stood frozen, staring at him shocked. “Huh?! Answer me!” Eret’s hands suddenly were gripping Snotlout’s shirt collar.

“I was trying to flirt with you!” Snotlout shouted back at him. “I didn’t mean for you to think I was making fun of you, I thought if I was mean to you you’d like me. Y’know, like how in movies the love interests always hate each other before they get together.” Eret’s grip loosened, but he still had fire in his eyes.

“This is real life you idiot. Why would you even think that would work?!” Snotlout couldn’t help but smile at Eret.

“I guess my mind just goes blank when I’m with you. I’m too busy being lost in your eyes.” Eret snorted and hid his face in the crook between Snotlout’s neck and shoulder. 

“You’re so stupid.” He mumbled, the sound muffled. He pulled away and straightened out Snotlout’s lapels, trying to remove the wrinkles. Snotlout felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest at the little domestic act.

“Is it okay if I kiss you then? Now that you’re not mad at me?” Eret frowned and looked Snotlout in the eyes.

“I just spent the whole day thinking that you took a sick day because you were uncomfortable with my affections and that you thought I was a weird gay guy with a crush on you. I think I need a minute before I commit to you again.”

Snotlout’s heart leapt with the word again. “So… I still have a chance? I didn’t mess this up completely?” Eret smiled at him.

“You still have a chance.” He confirmed. “That is, if you’re willing to meet me at a bar this weekend. If you could make time in your busy, manly schedule between working out.” He quirked an eyebrow at Snotlout.

“Yeah,” Snotlout breathed, sounding like a love struck fool. “I’m sure I could fit it in.”

**Author's Note:**

> Loose plot threads 😳 in my fic 😳 it’s more likely than you’d think. Hopefully those get resolved later 😉. If I were to make a sequel would you prefer it as another chapter to this fic, or just on it’s own? 
> 
> Please comment and leave kudos! I appreciate them all and respond to all of my comments! Thanks so much for the support 🥰


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